HELP I Always Get With a Bi Polar, Coke Head.?

Question by Straight Cat: HELP I always get with a bi polar, coke head.?
I’m 40 and had 2 kids with 2 bi polar crack heads. One was a hidden crack head prior to our 10 year relationship and the other turned in to one right after we split our 2 year relationship. My current husband of 3 years has abused cocaine before me and currently shows signs of bi polar and he smokes pot. He is angry and snaps and then he is the greatest.

Why do I keep getting into these situations? My childhood was filled with my father keeping the family in fear with his anger and mood swings, his drinking, his violence against my brother, and threatening to shoot my brother. My dad use to tell me how he will burn the house down when I am gone but with my mother and brother still in the house. He use to tell me how he will kill them and this is when I was only 9. Family use to have to hide me from my dad so he wouldn’t take me and drive intoxicated at 5 years old.

I still don’t have the relationship with my dad like I want. He is so distant.

Best answer:

Answer by glistam3
This is a classic pattern of bad relationships. Contrary to what we would think using our rational minds, when we are traumatized in childhood, we bizarrely seek out people to date who are just like our tormentors. Freud noticed this back in 1920 and dubbed it the “repetition compulsion.” What terrified us becomes attractive, and it can be a very subtle thing. For instance, a person we start a relationship with would otherwise seem to be perfect and fine, but deep down, we detect something in them that is just like our crazy dad/whomever. And magically, that’s how it turns out.

The only short term advice is that you need to avoid people that seem super attractive to you, like when you think, “I just love this guy so much but I don’t know why.” RUN! And of course, an experience like your childhood would really benefit from talking to a psychologist.

Answer by Jenny Jo
you are still reliving your childhood, trying to find your father. definitely unresolved issues which is completely understandable. the people you choose are like your father. for some reason you need the madness and nightmares because when the good times come, they are soooooo good. so opposite. have you ever been checked yourself for bipolar disorder or anything else? You need to resolve the childhood stuff somehow. try and avoid any relationships for now. and get help yourself.

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